Broken Memories
by UnstoppableForce
Summary: Episode tag for Hiatus. Tony's reaction to Gibbs leaving. Slash - Gibbs/DiNozzo


Disclaimer: No, I don't own NCIS.

**Broken Memories**

~*~

Tony watched as the elevator doors closed on Ducky and Gibbs before turning away. He glanced down at the badge lying in his hand before stuffing it into his pocket. He then looked up at his team. Using those two words made him feel... strange. Empty. Something was missing and they all knew it. But Gibbs wasn't planning on coming back, Tony knew it, and once again he'd have to pick up the pieces, glue them back together and then hold them as best as he could. But who he wondered, would put him back together? Usually it would be Gibbs, but Gibbs... wasn't Gibbs. Not any more. He looked like Gibbs, acted sort of like Gibbs, but the holes in his memory changed him. He was Gibbs, but not in Tony's mind. Tony would be happy to help him regain his memories, more than happy to help his lover, but... he had a suspicion that Gibbs was going to run. He'd resigned from NCIS, didn't remember anything... Tony knew deep down the older man would be gone in the morning.

Tony did his duties, hugging Abby while surreptitiously checking on McGee and Ziva. The former was staring into space, the latter had sat back down at her desk but wasn't doing anything. Tony glanced up at the stairs to where the Director was standing. He met her eyes and she nodded slightly before heading back into her office. She'd see him tomorrow. Right now there were more important things to be done.

Tony didn't know how long he stood there hugging Abby, but eventually his arms started to ache, so he let go. He backed up a step while running things through his head, what he had to do. Then he remembered something. _Crap. Where am I going to sleep tonight? I live with Gibbs._

Tony walked off towards the elevator, still thinking. Pressing the button, he didn't realise that he'd been followed until Abby appeared next to him as the doors closed. He leaned against the back wall of the elevator car, watching impassively as she pressed the emergency stop, fighting back memories of the amount of times Gibbs had done that. She stood in front of him, staring at him for a few minutes before speaking.

"Are you alright?" She asked. He shrugged.

"Haven't got anywhere to go tonight, was heading to my car to see if I'd fit. If not, I was hoping to borrow your futon, or something." He explained.

"Why can't you go- Oh." Realisation dawned on her.

"Yeah. Oh."

"Well... can't you just go and explain to Gibbs? He'll be home by now." Abby said hopefully.

"Oh yeah Abbs, sure. I'll just go up to him and say 'Hi, I'm your gay lover, have been for the last four years. Oh, and I live here, so I'll be sleeping in your bed tonight, hope that's alright.' Abby, he's lost most of his memories, he woke up thinking it was 1991, thinks he's just lost Shannon and Kelly all over again. He barely remembers me, let alone our relationship! I can't do that to him, and I'm shocked that you even thought of it!" Tony snapped, then saw the look on Abby's face. "Sorry Abby, I'm just..." He trailed off.

"It's okay. It was a stupid idea, I wasn't thinking straight either." She said. Tony could see that she was near tears again though, so hugged her. He turned them around, taking the brakes off the elevator and hitting the button for the third floor: the squadroom. Once the doors opened, she started to walk out, back to the others, only to turn around when she realised Tony wasn't following her. She looked at him, question in her eyes.

"Just going up to the roof Abbs, need some time on my own, time to think, okay?"

She nodded.

"You can stay with me tonight okay? I'll wait for you, however long you need. Don't worry about me." She said. Tony knew that she knew he'd worry about her anyway, but decided not to mention it, hitting the button for the floor above. From there, he'd use the stairs to get access to the roof. He'd been there a few times, it was a good place to think, especially when it was pitch black outside like it was now. Calming, and he knew no-one would bother him up there, no-one would ask what he was doing.

He closed the door behind him, walking across to where he usually sat, knees up close to his chest, facing across the river. He sat and watched, listening to the noises of the city all around him, before taking Gibbs' badge out of his pocket.

He bowed his head, letting his knees down a little so he could rest his hands on them with the badge nestled in them, feeling the light breeze in his hair.

Finally, he let the tears fall.

~*~


End file.
